Posts archived in English_Essays

14 comments

April 20, 2009

又当了一次一夜暴富的民工哥

我们学校图书馆为了鼓励学生拥有私人藏书, 每年都举办一次以”我的藏书”为题的作文比赛, 今年我去图书馆好几次, 热心的图书馆大姐每次都向我介绍这个比赛, 并且告诉我, 第一名现金 $1000, 第二名 $500. 搞得我很眼馋, 所以, 我就捣鼓了一篇, 对着 The Elements of Style 和 How to Write Well 改了三四稿, 最后用 LaTeX 排好版, 并让我女朋友帮我改了几个我一辈子也发现不了的语法错误, 就交上去了. 今天, 图书馆大哥给我打来电话, 说我的文章得了研究生组第二名, 哈哈, 看来平时在博客上练习中文英文的写作是蛮有成效的嘛. Anyway, 我这个民工哥又一夜暴富了.

这是作文, 标题叫做 From Elements to a Set, 是个双关句, 既表示从元素到集合(藏书的数量越来越多), 也表示从”几何原本”到一个系列(表示我的藏书从什么开始). 主要基本上就是把我以前在 十年数海拾贝路 (http://blog.youxu.info/2007/04/18/math_ten_years/) 里面的故事重复了一遍而已.

不管怎么样, 多练习英语写作还能赚500美元, 对于我这样一个月只有两千略少一点收入的民工哥来说, 还是很合算的嘛 :

31 comments

December 6, 2008

强烈推荐美剧 NUMB3RS

第一眼看到这个美剧的时候, 还以为是胡编乱造的民科, 像 CSI 和 Gray 一样不靠谱瞎编. 看了开头几集之后发现: 数学细节几乎没有错的. 加上好莱坞原有的犯罪片编剧的水平, 这可比其他美剧好看多了. （而且还有这么 l33t 的名字 :)

以开头的几集为例. 第一季第一集是一个真实的数学建模. 数据, 假设各方面要素都全了. 第二集是有点扯淡的测不准(只会影响微观测量), 但是顺便看到扫雷问题是 NP 完全的时候我还是会心一笑. (顺带八卦一下, Knuth 大爷说了, NP 和 P 的问题, 会在 2048 2^11 年或者 4096 2^12 年被解决 :) 这哥们黑板上写了 CLIQUE 和 3SAT, 不知道大家注意到没有, 呵呵.

第三集的 Patient Zero 理论还是很靠谱的, SIR 模型列在黑板上的常微分方程也是看得我心痒痒的真想当场列一个 logistic 方程(SARS刚过去的那年我参加数学建模竞赛用的数学模型就是 SIR). 就是生物信息那边是极其不靠谱的. 病毒DNA测序之后哪有能拿DNA的N级结构直接 diff 一下就能比较出病毒不同的, 那还要基因挖掘和生物信息学干啥. 不过把数学家英明神武的塑造成一个生物信息学家还算可以接受. 第四集其实没啥技术含量, 说白了也可以说非线性方程的特性不能仅从坐标维度上的信息刻画. 比如 z = xy 在 (0, 0) 点的形态是非线性的, 但是沿两个坐标轴导数都是0 (八卦一下, 我去年很长一段时间的研究就是从子空间的性态去刻画非线性函数在全空间的性态, 显然需要很多的假设才能刻画准确). 第五集有点小民科, 因为黎曼猜想的证明方法可能是代数数论或者代数几何, 不见得就能“分解任意质数”. 况且, 要是有了任意分解质数的, 就 NP=P 了, Chariles 就可以直接回家享福了 (我可能是错的, 因为分解质数好像不是 NPC). Anyway, 分解质数必然会给 NP=P 问题更多的洞见.

下面的我还没时间看. 就转了一圈. wikipedia 有专门的每集用到的数学的列表.  还有无数的博客在分析这个剧集, 或者做科普. 可贵的是, 来自科研一线的数学家在帮助设计规划这个剧集. 据说当初一开始就是 Caltech 的数学家和研究生设计的脚本, 连黑板上的公式都是他们写的. 现在 Wolfram 接手了. Wolfram Research 据说还专门派了一个小组到哥伦比亚广播公司作剧集的数学顾问. 象牙塔里面的数学系也没闲着, 西东北大学有专门的关于剧集的博客. 康乃尔大学也有关于此的数学博客. 连 TI 都有面向教育的教案.

其实这也不是个案了. 我几个月前买了一本书, 叫做 “The Physics of Superheroes” (超人背后的物理学) 文风优美, 讲解深刻, 而且写作的教授可不是民科, 而是正儿八经的明尼苏达大学的物理学教授 James Kakalios.

一线的科学家能够放下身段找些大家感兴趣的话题作科普, 这个国家的下一代怎么能不强大? 什么叫科学技术强国, 从一些小侧面就看出来了.

补: 既然说到了科普, 最近关于爱科普的文章引起的争议也很多, 补几句废话吧.

首先, 我从来就不认为方舟子的科普写的好, 或者原创性高. 不信? 读读这篇. 你要是问我方舟子一天一篇从鳄鱼到链霉素哪来这么多材料(让我一天一篇写计算机科普我都要X尽人亡啊), 我就回答了: 呵呵, 呵呵, 美国的国家地理杂志恰好很多次都比方舟子的文章早一个月两个月印刷出来送到我手里. 所以我觉得, 大家不必迷信他的科普. 他囫囵吞枣的写很多不是他的研究方向的东西, 并且脱离科研一线很多年, 写出来的东西, 看了启发是不大的. 不必迷信这个人的文章.

其次, 我也是不怎么同意连岳在地震的时候的言论的, 但是我依然敬佩他作为一个评论人的勇气和洞见. 这些洞见并不因为他没学过概率论就失去价值. 我就算知道高深的数学, 我还是没他在社会问题上深刻. 人和人是有差距的, 不要用英俊的科学脸庞去鄙视别人, 至少读这篇博的人, 我希望没有这样的不健康的心态.

英文中哲学叫做 philosophy, 中文叫做爱智慧. 智慧是个抽象的东西, 只有去爱它, 才会变得有趣. 爱科学, 或者说, 爱这个世界和社会, 科学和社会才会变得有趣. 如果一个科普工作者不爱这个世界, 哪里会有超人的物理学这样有趣的书问世呢?

1 comments

October 18, 2007

Niniane’s official response here!

A short while after I posted “Why Asian girl in US doesn’t want to date me “, Niniane visited my blog and said, ·

This was pretty funny. If you are a slashdot/digg geek, shouldn’t you be running linux? Instead of a PC with 640k memory.
I must agree that LOLcats would not work on girls. The grammar is not funny! You should instead use AllYourBase.”

First, thank Niniane for visiting and leaving very helpful suggestions. According to her suggestions, I refined some sentences here:

I am running Debian sid (unstable) on my grandma’s Pentium 66MHz + 128M which is buggy so I have to reboot X after 30 minutes, while they are running Ubuntu 6.06 LTS (Long Time Support) on Core Duo + 4GB.

And next time if I want to date an Asian girl, I should say:

How are you young lady!!
All your base are belong to me.
You are on the way to our dating.

I guess it works, at least for Niniane. LOL.

3 comments

October 17, 2007

OK, enough about Asian girl

I, a bitter Asian man, don’t want to insult any Asian girl. Here is a wrap-up.

The initial post is here:
Why I Don’t Date Asian Men

My response:
Why Asian girl in US doesn’t want to date me

Some other responses:
为什么我找不到中国女孩作女朋友

也说为何找不到女朋友

A funny site to see:
Bitter Asian Men

My readers, especially Asian girls, please try to be humorous and don’t treat this too seriously. If you want to send me hate mail, here is TEH ADDRASS:

youxu [A@LOLC@T] wustl.edu

MAIKE SURE U CAN LET ME LAUGH！

KTHXBYE.

(Change all [#!#$] to @)

15 comments

October 15, 2007

Why Asian girl in US doesn’t want to date me

[In response to this. Satire, proceed with caution]

I am a loser in color

Yes, I am a loser, by all means. In the first place, I am not white, and this kills me. As I’ve said, I am a loser. According to the definition of loser in Asian girls’ dictionaries, if you are not white, you’ve already been punished by ___ (fill this blank with Buddha, Jesus Christ, OMG, Flying Spaghetti Monster, etc., as long as you believe them) because you are a loser. So, you see, I am a loser in religionary view.

I am a loser in the real world

But that is not the end. I am also a loser in the real world. As a research assistant, I get about 1.7k bucks per month, which is slightly better than working at Wal*Mart. I don’t have a car; I ride my skateboard or scooter to school everyday because gas is expensive. I live in an apartment with one roommate but no pets. I am not working at Google or Microsoft for 100k+ per year because I withdrew their offers. The best company I’ve ever worked in is SIEMENS–a stupid German company, as an intern. I am a Ph.D. student of Washington University, which is far worse than Harvard, Yale, Stanford or MIT. Asian girls won’t like me at this point for my Forrest Gump’s IQ or even can’t enter a university better than George W. Bush.

I am a loser in bodybuilding

I am 5’7, while all white guys here, according to Asian girls’ descriptions, are 6′+. Milk with Calcium and Vitamin D turns out to be not so that helpful. According to Asian girls research data, all white dudes here have “hard drivers” larger than 200GB, while I was cheated by Bill Gates and thought 640k is enough. The white dudes obviously are running Linux with a quite long uptime, while my PC (personal something) has to reboot every 30 minutes maybe. I am a loser in bodybuilding.

I am a loser in language

It’s definitely true. I know tons of Tang Poetry, but it’s out-of-date. The only language, which can be used to date Asian girls, is English. As you can see, “vous êtes belle!” doesn’t work for Asian girls. Sometimes you call them and say HAI, I CAN HAZ A DATE WITH YOU? KTHBYE. And they will point out your grammatical error. Asian girls are all kindly teachers and a grammar error will totally ruin your date. I have to admit that my English ARE BELONGS to inferiority and am afraid to give them a call with my poor English. While I am officially a loser in language, Asian girls also have more than one million choices available, which are of course, US men from 18 to 80. This won’t change until I get a green card, which states I am a permanent resident, and therefore certifies I am not a loser in language anymore.

I am a loser in bridging the culture gap

Wait, do I really have culture gaps with Asian girls? Yes, I do. There is a saying: When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Here we have to replace Rome to America. Therefore, I have to act as American. I am a Pastafarian, read LOLcat bible, while general American is Christian and read Holy Bible. I am family-centric and Americans prefer NSA (w/wo condom). I hang on digg/slashdot everyday (yes, I am a geek) while Americans have party everyday. Asian girls, in the other hand, expect their significant others, to be conservative American style. I am liberal and will definitely go to hell after death, and I know I can’t bridge the culture gap.

In conclusion, I am a loser in everything. Now you can see the reasons why Asian girls don’t like me. Asian girls, “leave me alone” :)

3 comments

September 22, 2007

Live free, and die with significance

If you were on Digg or Slashdot yesterday, you might notice an article titled “Last Lecture“. Yes, it’s an eyeball-catching title, but it’s true. Prof. Randy Pausch from CMU gets incurable pancreatic cancer and is dying soon. He gave this lecture and talked about his childhood dreams several days ago at CMU, which was his “last lecture”.

Here are my understandings towards his lecture.

1. Don’t panic, there are lots of brick walls in our life — all kinds of difficulties. Break them!

2. How many dreams did you hold in your childhood? Can you write/have you written them down? How many items on that list are checked?

3. Leave something for the world. All of us are dying anyway, but we can choose to leave a legacy or just die like an insect.

4. Let our bodies to the dust, but let the souls be everlasting. Live free, and die with your own significance.

I strongly recommend this video for everyone, the “last lecture” from Prof. Randy Pausch.

And of course, the perfect Time Management talk.

0 comments

September 9, 2007

Geek conversation with a girl

I was talking to a geeky American girl via AIM.

Me: I once asked the God to offer me a girl.
She: Offer: command not found.
Me: sudo offer me a girl.
She: Password:_
Me: shutdown -h now.

Later…

She: Wanna catch a movie? 2:00pm – 4:00pm, “3:10 to Yuma”.
Me: Nice, but I have an appointment at 3:00, no time slot available…
She: Freaking stupid segmentation fault. How can you have an appointment at 3:00pm?
Me: Nice equivoque. I should kill dash nine my cron

Finally

Me: It’s raining cats and dogs outside, any luck to stop it?
She: We are raining dinosaurs here. They should be dead million years ago.
Me: So, do you want to go out and kill them? you are not an environmentalist, right?
She: No, just beam them up.
Me: Captain Scotty is absent.
She: LOL, KTHXBYE.

–

Warning: this post contains some inner jokes about Linux, Star Trek and LOL_Cat.

No Animals Were Hurt Writing This Post

————————————-

实在忍不住了,  再补两个和微软有关的搞笑的.

1. They only Microsoft product that doesn’t suck is the vacuum cleaner

2. 我觉得微软还是有可取之处的, 提醒大家要有安全意识

1 comments

August 18, 2007

Qi Xi (Chinese Valentine’s Day)

[Disclaim: Some text here are cited from Wikipedia under the GNU Document Licence]

Qi Xi (七夕; Pinyin: qī xī; “The Night of Sevens”) is Chinese Valentine’s Day (sometimes called Magpie Festival) It’s on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month on the Chinese calendar; thus its name. In 2007, this festival falls today, August 19.

There is a very romatic story of Cowherd and Weaver Girl. As in late summer, the stars Altair and Vega are high in the night sky, our ancestors observed that and a love story came out.

A young cowherd named Niulang (Chinese: 牛郎; Pinyin: niú láng, “the cowherd”, the star Altair) happens across seven fairy sisters bathing in a lake. Encouraged by his mischievous companion the ox, he steals their clothes and waits to see what will happen. The fairy sisters elect the youngest and most beautiful sister Zhinü (Simplified Chinese: 织女; Traditional Chinese: 織女; Pinyin: zhī nǚ, “the weaver girl”, the star Vega) to retrieve their clothing. She does so, but since Niulang has seen her naked, she must agree to his request for marriage. She proves to be a wonderful wife, and Niulang a good husband, and they are very happy together. But the Goddess of Heaven (in some versions Zhinü’s mother) finds out that a mere mortal has married one of the fairy girls and is furious. (In another version, the Goddess forced the weaver fairy back to her former duty of weaving colorful clouds in the sky because she could not do her job while married to the mortal.) Taking out her hairpin, the Goddess scratches a wide river in the sky to separate the two lovers forever (thus forming the Milky Way, which separates Altair and Vega).

qixi2.jpg

Zhinü must sit forever on one side of the river, sadly weaving on her loom, while Niulang watches her from afar and takes care of their two children (his flanking stars β and γ Aquilae).

But once a year all the magpies in the world take pity on them and fly up into heaven to form a bridge (鵲橋, “the bridge of magpies”, Que Qiao) over the star Deneb in the Cygnus constellation so the lovers may be together for a single night, the seventh night of the seventh moon.

qixi3.jpg

There are also lots of traditions, but now in China, we usually treat Qi Xi as the second Valentine’s Day in a year. We also have many beautiful poems about Qi Xi, one of my favourite is:

秋夕 –(唐)杜牧
红烛秋光冷画屏，
轻罗小扇扑流萤。
天阶夜色凉如水，
坐看牵牛织女星。

Translated as:

The painted screen is chilled in silver candlelight,
She uses silken fan to catch passing fireflies.
The steps seem steeped in water when cold grows the night,
She lies watching heart-broken stars shed tears in the skies.

I am not so that sad, of course ;)

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