A short while after I posted “Why Asian girl in US doesn’t want to date me “, Niniane visited my blog and said, ·

This was pretty funny. If you are a slashdot/digg geek, shouldn’t you be running linux? Instead of a PC with 640k memory.
I must agree that LOLcats would not work on girls. The grammar is not funny! You should instead use AllYourBase.”

First, thank Niniane for visiting and leaving very helpful suggestions. According to her suggestions, I refined some sentences here:

I am running Debian sid (unstable) on my grandma’s Pentium 66MHz + 128M which is buggy so I have to reboot X after 30 minutes, while they are running Ubuntu 6.06 LTS (Long Time Support) on Core Duo + 4GB.

And next time if I want to date an Asian girl, I should say:

How are you young lady!!
All your base are belong to me.
You are on the way to our dating.

I guess it works, at least for Niniane. LOL.

I, a bitter Asian man, don’t want to insult any Asian girl. Here is a wrap-up.

The initial post is here:
Why I Don’t Date Asian Men

My response:
Why Asian girl in US doesn’t want to date me

Some other responses:
为什么我找不到中国女孩作女朋友

也说为何找不到女朋友

A funny site to see:
Bitter Asian Men

My readers, especially Asian girls, please try to be humorous and don’t treat this too seriously. If you want to send me hate mail, here is TEH ADDRASS:

youxu [A@LOLC@T] wustl.edu

MAIKE SURE U CAN LET ME LAUGH！

KTHXBYE.

(Change all [#!#$] to @)

[In response to this. Satire, proceed with caution]

I am a loser in color

Yes, I am a loser, by all means. In the first place, I am not white, and this kills me. As I’ve said, I am a loser. According to the definition of loser in Asian girls’ dictionaries, if you are not white, you’ve already been punished by ___ (fill this blank with Buddha, Jesus Christ, OMG, Flying Spaghetti Monster, etc., as long as you believe them) because you are a loser. So, you see, I am a loser in religionary view.

I am a loser in the real world

But that is not the end. I am also a loser in the real world. As a research assistant, I get about 1.7k bucks per month, which is slightly better than working at Wal*Mart. I don’t have a car; I ride my skateboard or scooter to school everyday because gas is expensive. I live in an apartment with one roommate but no pets. I am not working at Google or Microsoft for 100k+ per year because I withdrew their offers. The best company I’ve ever worked in is SIEMENS–a stupid German company, as an intern. I am a Ph.D. student of Washington University, which is far worse than Harvard, Yale, Stanford or MIT. Asian girls won’t like me at this point for my Forrest Gump’s IQ or even can’t enter a university better than George W. Bush.

I am a loser in bodybuilding

I am 5′7, while all white guys here, according to Asian girls’ descriptions, are 6′+. Milk with Calcium and Vitamin D turns out to be not so that helpful. According to Asian girls research data, all white dudes here have “hard drivers” larger than 200GB, while I was cheated by Bill Gates and thought 640k is enough. The white dudes obviously are running Linux with a quite long uptime, while my PC (personal something) has to reboot every 30 minutes maybe. I am a loser in bodybuilding.

I am a loser in language

It’s definitely true. I know tons of Tang Poetry, but it’s out-of-date. The only language, which can be used to date Asian girls, is English. As you can see, “vous êtes belle!” doesn’t work for Asian girls. Sometimes you call them and say HAI, I CAN HAZ A DATE WITH YOU? KTHBYE. And they will point out your grammatical error. Asian girls are all kindly teachers and a grammar error will totally ruin your date. I have to admit that my English ARE BELONGS to inferiority and am afraid to give them a call with my poor English. While I am officially a loser in language, Asian girls also have more than one million choices available, which are of course, US men from 18 to 80. This won’t change until I get a green card, which states I am a permanent resident, and therefore certifies I am not a loser in language anymore.

I am a loser in bridging the culture gap

Wait, do I really have culture gaps with Asian girls? Yes, I do. There is a saying: When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Here we have to replace Rome to America. Therefore, I have to act as American. I am a Pastafarian, read LOLcat bible, while general American is Christian and read Holy Bible. I am family-centric and Americans prefer NSA (w/wo condom). I hang on digg/slashdot everyday (yes, I am a geek) while Americans have party everyday. Asian girls, in the other hand, expect their significant others, to be conservative American style. I am liberal and will definitely go to hell after death, and I know I can’t bridge the culture gap.

In conclusion, I am a loser in everything. Now you can see the reasons why Asian girls don’t like me. Asian girls, “leave me alone” :)

(With a friend, walking on the street)
She: Why are you walking so fast, are Chinese people usually walking so fast? Why?
I:      Because we don’t have a car.

(On a birthday party with an American friend)
He: Nice party, huh?
I:    It’s really nice — my first birthday party in US, actually.
He: Do people in China usually have birthday parties?
I:     Not too many, once a year.
He:  …… LOL……..

(In a restaurant, with a friend)
He: How’s the food?
I:     It’s good, but you know what, I will take it home.
He: Why?
I:     I am gonna do some reverse engineering and figure out how to cook that.
He:  Emmm, well. (turn to the waiter). What’s the Term of Use of this dish?
(All people in that restaurant looked at us, as we were not from this planet)

同学寄来国内月饼, 打开一看: 纸馅月饼也. 有图为证:

LOL. My second favourite song this month.

For lyrics

被霍炬 点名了，“我心中最2的互联网公司”。
"2ward"/>

1. 新浪 (Sina)

当之无愧的2， 暂不提Blog 不全文输出和不输出图片了, 就是大部分不着调的网友评论都让我想到这个2字。新浪新闻频道没见正常新闻过, 前几天的假新闻的更加表现出新浪的2的本质。新浪这么2, 没人敢称第1. 我真希望这个 “2ward” 花落新浪.

2. 搜狐 (Sohu)

不 知道大家有没有发现, sohu 做啥都是千年老2. 做新闻吧, 比不上上面的新浪, 做SP和网游吧, 搞不过网易. 说吧, 爱问搞不过baidu. 人气那么旺的chinaren 被搞成了5460第二. 辛辛苦苦做了一个输入法, 这次又占理又占风头的, 却没了下文. 现在Web 2.0 了, 他反而一点 2.0 的样子都没有了. sohu 这个千年老2是当定了.

3. 千橡

千橡是我见到的最会把法国大餐做成意大利面条的公司了. 本来是想建一个大帝国的，现在变成沿街铺成N多家摊子全卖烧饼油条了，而且还比连锁以前销量下降了。 至于结果么, 用麦田的话说, 呵呵 呵呵 今天天气真好.

4. MSN

MSN在中国是什么? 什么都不是! 说是新闻门户吧新闻不好好干； 说要往MySpaces转型呢，功能又做的一塌糊涂, 那么多高端的用户, 那么多钱砸下去, 怎么就没能砸出一个白领MySpace呢? 就算不砸白领MySpace, 那么多MSN用户，那么多钱，砸什么都砸出来了. 而且 9fw 迟迟不对你动手，早就该广招人开Space炒作了。多好的机会被错失了啊！

5. 分众传媒(Focus Media)

很多年前分众刚起家的时候, 一个朋友和我聊起来,大赞江南春先生多么多么了不起. 那时候上海传媒和白领圈子言必江南春. 我当时就很不以为然, 靠, 摆明了分众就是耍流氓么. 我在电梯里郁闷, 发呆或者犯傻和你有什么关系, 为啥非要把电视广告到处投放，而且电视也没个开关和音量控制. 无论什么时候, 强行推送就是流氓行为. 当然了, 光分众流氓没啥2的, 他2就2在把聚众和好耶都全纳到旗下了. 原因我不说了, 总之我没看出资源整合这着棋, 我看到的是纯粹的资本运作，投资商成功的把右口袋的钱放到左口袋，然后把左口袋的钱抽出. 至于整合以后好耶的前途么, 呵呵, 呵呵, 天气真好.

如果想反驳我，本人无比欢迎。本来就是个人意见，不过请注意一下以下逻辑：
1. 我说这些公司2， 仅指其行为，不指其管理层和员工2。 再说了，那些是商业机密，我哪能知道。
2. 说他们2， 不代表我不2， 说不定将来我做的事情比他们差很多，不过这里，我们只谈2.

回答这种问题是个苦差事，我就不点名了。如果你觉得还有其他公司很2，不吐不快，那不妨给这篇文章发一个评论或者trackback，我就假装点你一下名 :)

今天看论文看入神，不知不觉12点了。知道我生活规律的人都知道我11点睡觉雷打不动的，想当年听者枪声刀声游戏声入睡的日子真是又怀恋又好笑。202，204兄弟可以作证。

话说美国中部时间已过三更，夜猫佳昱同学准时上线(我一直怀疑他没倒时差)。以下是聊天纪录：

佳昱：大宥，这么晚还在线？
You: 哦，看一篇paper看入神了，不知不觉搞晚了。
佳昱：牛啊，看paper也能看入神
You: 这个，看paper入神不是和打游戏入神同构么。
佳昱：….我没办法构造出那个映射….

（此笑话牵涉到一些数学，看了不笑就算了，不是您幽默感不够）

美国同学晚安了，中国同学朋友下午好. 我睡觉去也！

1. 轮子就是好
小军是辽阳某镇的一名青年，今年二十五岁，小伙子这两年身体总不太好，有好几样病，最严重的是尿毒症和白血病，是刚刚确诊的，非常严重，医院即不给治也不给开药了，就是没希望了。
这可愁坏了这家人，小军躺在床上，一点劲儿也没有，想想自己这么年轻，生命才刚刚开始，就到了生命的尽头，再想想和他相恋多年的女朋友……这一切都将不属于自己，他痛苦万分，真的不想离开！
一天三姨从千里之外来看他，给他带来了生之希望。原来他三姨是XXX学习人员，進门就给他讲XXX的美好和XXX受**真相，告诉他XX是救度众生的，洪传世界八十多个国家和地区……他听着听着就有了精神，当然三姨也没忘了告诉他念”X%好、XYZ好” .
第二天小军就要跟三姨学，三姨很高兴的教他，不到一个星期，小军的病全好了。这可乐坏了妈妈，逢人就讲自己的儿子起死回生的神奇经历，周围的朋友不少都跟着学学起来，有事实为证，大家伙再也不相信社会上的邪@恶¥谎¥言％了.
编者评语：（沈阳市一年级小学生优秀作文）G｜F｜W要是巧妙的让全国人民看到这个文章该多好。

下面三个是咱们学术圈里的研究成果

2. 复旦教授研究成果：中国处于5000年来最大的盛世
编者评语: 废话，咱们这个时代人最多，显然是最大的盛世，要研究么？

3. 政法大学校长表示：和谐权本位时代到来了。
编者评语: 和谐权是虾米权？ 你是恶搞和谐社会还是恶搞人权？ 连岳先生有妙文批判, 而我觉得政法大学校长恶搞名词之精神为互联网第一。恩，除和谐权，我们还可以提先进性权，三个代表权，改革开发权 。

4. 专家表示，黄健翔个性张扬，固执己见，漠视集体是事业不成功的关键
编者评语: 健翔说了这么多年球也没说成专家，刚从国有企业央视下岗，和老婆中国式离婚，想开创到相声界开创事业未成功，果然是个事业不成功的男人。同样的专家意见还有被 韩寒狠批过的质疑世界冠军刘翔和丁俊辉培养方式的一些专家。当然这个不是最搞笑的了，最好玩的是专家表示”他在大学里学习数学对他提高打球的精准度也是有好处的“［ 原文］，啊，数学系同学们，我们今日桃李芬芳，明日是司洛克运动的栋梁！